Edinburgh opens first zombie apocalypse survival training camp

The Scottish Government is set to make Edinburgh the location for Scotland’s first zombie apocalypse survival training camp, following the leaking of a top secret memo which reveals disturbing evidence of an impending zombie outbreak.

The first camps will be rolled out later this month with older Edinburgh residents expected to take part first. The leaked memo suggested that OAPs are more at risk due to the fact that they are less likely to outrun ravenous zombies.

By the end of the year the project is expected to be mandatory for all Edinburgh residents.

Doctor Dana Skully, commissioned by the Scottish Government to spearhead the project, said: “As fanciful as this sounds there is strong evidence that a zombie apolocypse isn’t just a possibility, it’s now imminent.

“Obviously we would have rather kept this project confidential at this stage but since the leaking of the memo it is important that people know the facts and remain calm.”

The Friends Of Older Lives – an OAP charity – has given a cautious welcome to news that pensioners are set to be enlisted into the training camp first.

Local councillor Rick Grimes said: “I have it on good authority that Edinburgh has been chosen because local people are quite used to dodging zombies on a Saturday night in the city, even if they are not the un-dead.”